Myths & Mental Health

Disclaimer : I am no practitioner and have no certificates to advise anyone on mental health. This is purely a post to put out my personal opinion on mental health out there. The tough times right now would definitely have so many people suffering silently. Would consider this post worth it even if one person finds the help needed.

Whenever there is a story of a celebrity opening up about mental health issues, when a movie is made on the same and is being promoted and when an unfortunate incident of a suicide occurs, there is a wave of posts, tweets, quotes and stories on mental health. There are people saying — “ I care” , “I wish you had spoken”. There are debates, there are discussions and then it all fizzles out till the next unfortunate event to open it up again.

We all as humans with emotions feel for people who could not cope, we do wish we could have done something about it and sometimes we do wonder “how it would have been for them” or “what does it all mean”. I also went through those emotions reading through everything on the media, watching people speak and looking at stats thrown around mental health. I started wondering what is it that I can share with the world about this whole concept of “mental health”. And here it goes …. Fundamentally, the myths that we all need to break….

Myth 1 : Mental illness is all in the mind

It is very easy to understand when someone complains of a ligament tear or a bad knee joint. But how does one understand someone saying — “ I don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t feel vital. I feel sad.” There needs to be a reason. When we don’t find big reasons like tragedy of death, job loss, financial loss or a disease and we see someone saying saying “I am not okay”, the usual response is an assumption that “It is all in the mind” and then advise to “Cheer up, party and take it light”. But the same does not happen when someone complains of pain in the knee. We don’t respond saying — “It’s all in your knee. Start climbing up the stairs and you will be fine.” The key here is not apathy, it is just lack of awareness and understanding that “It is real.”

The common argument for “It’s all in the mind” usually is that if something can be cured just by talking to a person who we call a therapist, it should be in the mind. But shouldn’t the same apply to knee pain that goes away after a physio prescribes just exercises without pills? Why should pills be proof of an illness always? Until the myth of “It is all in the mind and not real” is broken, we as a society cannot be truly supportive to people suffering from mental illness. “It is real and is not a mood swing” when someone does not feel okay at length for days and months and sometimes even years together without being able to attribute it to a big reason.

Myth 2 : Mental illness happens to attention seeking people who are well-to-do

Often the cases of mental health issues that come out in media are of high profile individuals while cases of diabetes and hypertension are lot within the first circle. Confusion is a common reaction when we see someone who seems to have it all — money, fame, physical health, family etc complain saying “I don’t feel vital, I don’t feel happy”. The confusion on what could it be that is bothering that someone when we have millions struggling for basic necessities of food and shelter. The thinking that “I have more problems than this person and if I am fine, he or she should definitely be”. Often this confusion and thinking leads to assumptions that it is just attention seeking behavior or that someone is just overthinking because all needs are satisfied.

Referring to Myth 1, mental illness is real and it can happen to anyone. It does not need to have a specific tragic reason or observable lack of human necessities. We need to go to higher levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to understand this deeply. Just like a poor man or a celebrity both can get cancer, both can have mental illness too. Media and exposure bias has lead to this myth that if you are struggling with basic necessities of life you don’t have time to overthink and be depressed, only the people who have it all do. India accounts for 25 % of suicide deaths in the world and definitely not consisting of only people who have it all.

For those who are suffering, there is no need to feel the guilt just because millions are suffering for food and shelter. Mental health is a function of so many aspects of life and not just what is visible presently in terms of material possessions and tangible well being. It is like layers of an onion that gets built over years majorly from childhood experiences, societal conditioning and reinforcements and every person is unique with different thresholds for different experiences.

Just so we remember, no attention seeking or overthinking individual would want to not be vital for days, months and years intentionally. Being sad for a day is sadness, depression is living with that dead feeling for weeks, months and years together. Why would anyone keep seeking attention, especially “negative attention” for so long?

Myth 3: Going deeper after “I am fine” is intrusion and answering truly to “How are you” is a burden

We all are good people. We do ask people in our social circles — “ How are you?” But often the very first answer to that question is not the truth majority of the times. How often do we see someone responding to that question with “I am not fine” unless we ask twice or thrice? We all have these invisible boundaries we have drawn between us where we assume if we answer that question truly,

• We will be burdening someone else with our problems
• We will be perceived to be weak and negative
• No point- It wont solve the problems and they won’t understand

Even on the other side, when we do ask someone “How are you?”, we often are doing it out of courtesy and are not really planning to go beyond that. Sometimes, we do have a hunch that something is wrong with someone, but if their first response is “I am fine”, we often hesitate to ask again because we assume

• It would be intrusive to question again
• They don’t want to share with us
• It is not none of my business

Due to these invisible boundaries, all we end up doing is putting up a post later on social media saying — “I wish I was there for you” or sending a personal message to them post facto if they are alive saying — “I am sorry I wasn’t there” when we get to know the truth. It need not be this way if the norm in society is to ask and answer that question truly. And it would be that way only if all other myths are broken for all of us.

Myth 4: Mentally ill people are weak

Majority of people with mental illness face a long struggle to first of all accept that they are ill because all these myths are truly believed by them too. It is common to think — “ It is not real and hence it cannot happen to me”. Once they cross that long storm of fighting with self to believe, they are set on to a second war because of the stigma associated with this whole thing.

• I would be considered weak
• I would be perceived as mad, psycho, unstable and unreliable to be effective in my profession
• People would behave differently with me if I share

These are not totally invalid assumptions to make as it is indeed true. Unless other myths are cleared out and mental illness becomes as normal as sharing about a kidney failure or diabetes, people who are suffering will not be able to come out and share with others. Leave alone friends and acquaintances, they will not be able to share with family as well in several cases. The key is to believe that “It is real, it can happen to anyone and such people are not weak”. We don’t call a person with diabetes or cancer weak then why say that for mental illness. Rather we should be calling them strong because it is usually an effect of staying strong too long. It also takes a lot of strength to put it out there, accept that they are not fine in spite of the stigma and seek help.

Myth 5: Pills make you lose yourself

The last myth that stops people from getting out of it is this myth that — “pills make you lose yourself”. It is all stemming out of the first myth that it is not real and may be the doctor is treating something not real with pills and should be overcome without those. These pills only make you numb and make you lose yourself. This fear prevents many people from going to a psychiatrist and get treated for clinical depression cases.

First of all, there is enough lack of awareness on who is a psychologist, who is a psychiatrist and who is a counsellor. The key is to be aware that some problems can be treated with talk therapy while some need intervention via pills. It is just like vitamins. Of course it is advisable to get it all from the natural food we eat. But sometimes when we are deficient , we do take supplements for a duration to bring it back to levels manageable via food. Majority of people do not consider mind as an organ in the body as it is so intertwined with one’s being and personality. Neurotransmitters and hormones are chemicals in our body that need to be at certain levels just like vitamins and pills help with that.

If someone has indeed crossed the long storm of accepting one is ill and seeking help, this is the last mile to complete the journey and come back to vitality as an evolved self.

Mental health and wellbeing for all can be achieved only if each one of us resolve to be aware, break these myths and make this topic as common and normal as physical health.